The teaching being referred to here was known as "knitted relationships", an unhealthily close pattern of relationships encouraged by the church leadership. Being made "totally dependent on the other person" to the point of having a "level of pain" that "some people can't cope" with, and which might lead to "nervous breakdowns", is what psychologists refer to as "codependence".More about knitted relationships later.
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It has taken me nearly 20 years to recover from the terrible spiritual abuse that was done to me at Kirkby Christian Fellowship. The most important thing I have learned is what Jesus said, A tree is Known by its fruits.
Coming from an abusive family background gave me a bad start in life. When normal teenagers are building their life I was recieving systematic abuse at home. I still was able to build a career for myself but inside I was a victim , with no self esteem, full of fear. I had believed in God since I had asked him to help me when I was a little girl. So when the abuse at home became unbearable in my teenage years I was looking for spiritual help from Gods people. I came to Kirkby Christian Fellowship and at first thought it was very good. The music was lively, the preaching was hard hitting by a woman named Cheryl Doyle. It seemed a great comfort away from the abusive enviroment that I lived in.I had gone out for prayer ministry one night and was prayed with by Cheryl and Dave Doyle I fell over and hit the floor and began screaming and crying I could not move and I could not stop screaming and crying. I know God sometimes does this but there was no feeling of comfort or healing. After that night Cheryl came to me and said I needed inner healing ministry which she would perform with Dave at her house. I was desparate I felt so much pain inside that I would have done anything. So once a week I went for inner healing ministry. They talked to me for a while about my inner pain I would try and open up and then they would lay hands on me for God to open up my inner wounds. They told me that I might go through some reliving of memories and pain but that was just the annointing working, as it was like oil(the balm of gilead they called it)drawing out all my inner hurts. That week I did feel pain a lot of pain I was crippled with inner pain and torment. But being trusting that God would bring me through it and desparate to be healed I went through it. Cheryl said I could ring her for spiritual support if I needed to.When I rang her for help in despair ,she always seemed to be off with me on the phone and would tell me off, this compounded my problems causing me to be even more afraid of her. It was after a few weeks of this ministry in a very painful session, I was told I had an anger problem and that I was a controller, this I accepted as I wanted to be healed and I went away to work on this. It was in a latter session Cheryl told me that I had been sexually abused by a member of my family.I went into shock and terror immediatly I felt so disturbed by this I had a breakdown.She eventually stopped the inner healing as she said I wasnt coping.This was the first time I had experienced clinical depression in my life and was put on antidepressants by my doctor. I lied to my Doctor about why I was depressed because how could I tell her that my church leader had had prophetic insights into the fact I had been sexually abused by a member of my family , as I had no memory of this.As time went on after leaving the fellowship the pain continued Cheryl had said I was also demonised and she had dealt with it. So why did my pain continue? Eventually I turned to drugs and alcohol for relief from my inner pain. I have had to unlearn the old ways that I viewed the world when I was taught in the fellowship. Basically deprogramming from her teachings has taken a long time. I am free today and have much more inner peace but I have clinical depression that is treated.I am 42 today and have had to do a lot of work on myself over the years with counsellors. After that breakdown I had further breakdowns, and when I tried to speak to Cheryl about it she didnt want to know. Every time I expressed any opinions or confided in any member of the fellowship I was immediatly called a gossip or a slanderer. I was hurting badly and in so much inner pain ,I didnt know where to turn she told everyone in the fellowship that I was a slanderer and a gossip and if they associated with me, they would be too. So eventually after many years of questioning "where is the love", I was sent to Coventry .If anyone committed sexual sin in the fellowship they where handed over to Satan for the Destruction of the flesh.I had seen this done in public meetings were the sinner was publicly rebuked by Cheryl and Dave and the elders of the fellowship. Some members of the church walked out and left after this. We had very intense teaching sessions before this by Cheryl explaining why it had to be done and it was scriptural and right. Anyone who disagreed was told to leave the room and were instantly not considered to be committed members. I know at the end before I left even though I had not committed sexual sin, Cheryl handed me over to Satan for the destruction of the flesh. This was an attempt to get me running back to the fellowship in despair. I did not run back to them. It had taken me a decade to break free from their control and I did break free and am free today.
I know someone who still belongs to the fellowship and has been involved with the co-dependent knitted together friendships thing. They have had need for antidepressants 3 times since they has been involved in it. I have watched Kirkby Christian Fellowship split up families, marriages, engagements people are not allowed to date each other unless Cheryl oks it. If people start going out together without her say so there will be trouble. Cheryl favours people who manifest spiritual gifts for leadership. If you have a developing 5 fold ministry you are in the club, but the truth is if your face fits with Cheryl you are in. What Cheryl does not favour is people who are filled with love and kindness which is the way of Jesus.I have seen so many vulnerable young people damaged by the controlling structure of the fellowship. A while back Cheryl became ill and had to stand down from leadership and her next in line took over. But she is only a puppet the fellowship is still controlled by Cheryl pulling the strings in the back ground. Gods love is not shown by co-dependency and discipling people in controlling relationships. In the 70s Cheryl deknownced the work of the Shepherding movement in Bradford as being a teaching of error as it damaged people to the point of breakdown. Eventually the leaders of the shepherding movement realised that it was wrong. That was because they were teachable and had wise leaders above them ,who they could turn to for counsel. Cheryl Doyle is not accountable to anyone she has had dealings with other churches but when they say that they disagree with her teachings she snubs them.Every visiting minister from other churches that has visited the fellowship over the years( bar one) Cheryl has fallen out with and sent them to Coventry. This woman is unteachable and is not open to support and wise spiritual counsel from anyone who is regularly present at meetings to see what goes on , on a weekly basis.That is the Truth and God is my witness. That makes her a spiritual loose cannon who destroys vulnerable peoples lives. I will probably be called a slanderer and a gossip for what I have just said. But if one person reads this and "wakes up and smells the coffee" then they might have a chance of finding help and living a normal life. And for me it has been very costly my life has been ruined by this church , it has taken over 20 years for me to be not afraid to speak the truth. But I am not afraid today because I know the real God not the one that was fed to me through control freaks.
Thanks for being brave enough to share your story.
LOLOLOLOLOL
Because of the nature of the work I do I am unable to be anything but "Anonymous 2".
However, whilst respecting everyone's individual right to worship as they see fit, it becomes clearer to me with every passing week that the KCF is a cult run by a woman who is mentally unstable; one who may even have a psychopathic personality. I am not a medical person but I question the mental equilibrium of anyone who gives angel status to cats.
Those whom she cannot control, she casts out. Perhaps she should look more deeply into her own self. Didn't Jesus teach "Let him who is without sin amongst you cast the first stone"? So is this woman truly without sin?
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